Past memories finally came back to haunt me..what I worrying last time finally realized..I always have the feeling of being a failure..I'm not as good as some genius and hardworking teenagers..but I always hope I can do my best..when ever things comes, what I reacted to it, is different from what I expected from myself..is this a characteristic or a symptom of a failure?..where is the feeling and hardworking that i own previously?..I know I'm not like this..this isn't the F.C.W.L that i suppose to be..back to the topic, today a friend called me and ask for my help..I really feel blessed that I still able to help people..but guess what he ask me to help..just a piece of cake job..that is to help him check for his graduation status..either Graduate With Distinction or Graduate With Merit..I would love to ask,k WHAT ABOUT ME??? I'M NOT IN THE LIST MAN!!!..to me, i felt that he just don't have the word "Satisfaction" in his heart when I told him that he got Graduate With Merit..maybe I'm wrong about his thought..or maybe I'm just not as good as him thats why I'm easily felt satisfied..I use to ask myself last year "Will that day comes and I'm one of them?" while looking out to the window which i saw few postgraduates with a smiling on their face and the feeling is just so miserable when I don't know I can make it or not..the unseen future of myself that might kill me..is there a way that I can see what and who am I in the next 5 years time?..I can't control my fate well..I believe my life will be totally screw up by myself if I keep on with my retarded attitude..am I able to change myself?..will I succeed?..I really don't know..what i worrying finally comes..I'm not graduating in this year..Sorry to those who had put hope on me..I promise I will be better this time..
..:::..EnD..:::..
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